Post by Asuka Was Here on Nov 9, 2005 14:26:22 GMT -5
AN: Dear lord, Kia, you come up with the most random themes. Mary Poppins? For an UraHat drabble? Eh, I tried to make it work, but it didn't end up having much to do with the movie - just feeding the birds for tuppence a bag, y'know?
So yes. I am dedicating this to you, Kia, for it is all your fault.
Title: Tuppence a Bag
Characters: Urahara X Hat-san, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, random old lady and a horde of hungry pigeons.
Rating: PG (not for any particular reason...)
Genre: Crack. Pure crack.
Spoilers: None (for once in my life)
Beta: None. Anyone interested?
Summary: Kisuke's been disappearing a lot lately, and the Urahara Shoten crew decides to find out why.
Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu had been rather worried lately. In the past few days their beloved Manager had been disappearing for hours on end, only to return covered in bits of twigs and dead leaves. It was bizarre, to say the least. Even more strangely, Kisuke wouldn't tell anyone where he had been, even when they begged and offered him a cookie for the information. Urahara had always been devious, but he usually let them in on his plans. What could be so important ? Could he really have plans so huge, so secret, so dangerous?
Well, duh. He'd always had big, dangerous plans. That was nothing new. But still, they were worried that he wouldn't tell them what said plans were. They wanted to know.
So they decided to resort to stealth to find out. One morning, they waited quietly until Urahara walked out the door, and stealthily followed him. This became difficult when he started rolling along in his shopping cart and they had only their legs to carry them; but nevertheless, they managed to stalk him all the way to the park, where he hopped out of his cart and walked up to an old lady feeding pigeons. He handed her a strange, foreign coin, and she gave him a large bag of birdseed in exchange. They then watched as their beloved manager whipped the hat off his head,sat down on the ground, and poured the seed into the green stripey garment. Kisuke huddled down really close to Hat-san, staring at the birdseed, and sat very still for several minutes.
Now the Urahara Shoten crew was really worried. Their manager never let Hat-san leave his head, even for a minute. This wasn't just odd, it was all-out insane. He was letting birdseed replace his head. Someone had to get him to a doctor, fast!
But their concern turned to shock as a flock of pigeons flew down and promptly began eating the birdseed out of Hat-san, using everything in the area - including Kisuke' - as a perch. Soon, he was covered in a mound of hungry pigeons.
"The birds are gonna eat him, Tessai-san!" wailed Ururu.
"Not if I can help it!" yelled Jinta, and he charged at the unsuspecting feathered critters.
The pigeons scattered, exposing a very upset Kisuke.
"Why, Jinta-kun, why?" pouted the boy's boss.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, 'WHY!?'" THOSE FEATHERBRAINS WERE GONNA EAT YOU!"
"But Hat-san wanted to feed the birds! It's only tuppence a bag!!"
"...Huh?"
"Tuppence, silly, tuppence. Tuppence a bag for the bridseed!"
"I don't get it."
"I believe what our manager means," said Tessai, "is that he was trying to feed the birds birdseed. They weren't going to eat him. Oh, how noble it is to care for the poor, defenseless creatures of our Earth! Manager is a good man, indeed."
"So they were friendly birds?" questioned Ururu.
However, Kisuke was too busy trying to call his feathered friends back to answer her question. "Come back, birdies!" he sang, "Hat-san has to feed you for tuppence a bag!" But alas, the pidgeons were too traumatized to trust crazy men with hats full of birdseed ever again. They stayed in their trees.
And so ended Kisuke and Hat-san's feeding of the birds. They rolled back to Urahara Shoten looking quite dejected, ignoring the condolences of Tessai and Ururu.
Maybe they could try feeding stray cats tomorrow. Yoruichi would appreciate that. And kitties were less likely to fly away.
So yes. I am dedicating this to you, Kia, for it is all your fault.
Title: Tuppence a Bag
Characters: Urahara X Hat-san, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, random old lady and a horde of hungry pigeons.
Rating: PG (not for any particular reason...)
Genre: Crack. Pure crack.
Spoilers: None (for once in my life)
Beta: None. Anyone interested?
Summary: Kisuke's been disappearing a lot lately, and the Urahara Shoten crew decides to find out why.
------------
Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu had been rather worried lately. In the past few days their beloved Manager had been disappearing for hours on end, only to return covered in bits of twigs and dead leaves. It was bizarre, to say the least. Even more strangely, Kisuke wouldn't tell anyone where he had been, even when they begged and offered him a cookie for the information. Urahara had always been devious, but he usually let them in on his plans. What could be so important ? Could he really have plans so huge, so secret, so dangerous?
Well, duh. He'd always had big, dangerous plans. That was nothing new. But still, they were worried that he wouldn't tell them what said plans were. They wanted to know.
So they decided to resort to stealth to find out. One morning, they waited quietly until Urahara walked out the door, and stealthily followed him. This became difficult when he started rolling along in his shopping cart and they had only their legs to carry them; but nevertheless, they managed to stalk him all the way to the park, where he hopped out of his cart and walked up to an old lady feeding pigeons. He handed her a strange, foreign coin, and she gave him a large bag of birdseed in exchange. They then watched as their beloved manager whipped the hat off his head,sat down on the ground, and poured the seed into the green stripey garment. Kisuke huddled down really close to Hat-san, staring at the birdseed, and sat very still for several minutes.
Now the Urahara Shoten crew was really worried. Their manager never let Hat-san leave his head, even for a minute. This wasn't just odd, it was all-out insane. He was letting birdseed replace his head. Someone had to get him to a doctor, fast!
But their concern turned to shock as a flock of pigeons flew down and promptly began eating the birdseed out of Hat-san, using everything in the area - including Kisuke' - as a perch. Soon, he was covered in a mound of hungry pigeons.
"The birds are gonna eat him, Tessai-san!" wailed Ururu.
"Not if I can help it!" yelled Jinta, and he charged at the unsuspecting feathered critters.
The pigeons scattered, exposing a very upset Kisuke.
"Why, Jinta-kun, why?" pouted the boy's boss.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, 'WHY!?'" THOSE FEATHERBRAINS WERE GONNA EAT YOU!"
"But Hat-san wanted to feed the birds! It's only tuppence a bag!!"
"...Huh?"
"Tuppence, silly, tuppence. Tuppence a bag for the bridseed!"
"I don't get it."
"I believe what our manager means," said Tessai, "is that he was trying to feed the birds birdseed. They weren't going to eat him. Oh, how noble it is to care for the poor, defenseless creatures of our Earth! Manager is a good man, indeed."
"So they were friendly birds?" questioned Ururu.
However, Kisuke was too busy trying to call his feathered friends back to answer her question. "Come back, birdies!" he sang, "Hat-san has to feed you for tuppence a bag!" But alas, the pidgeons were too traumatized to trust crazy men with hats full of birdseed ever again. They stayed in their trees.
And so ended Kisuke and Hat-san's feeding of the birds. They rolled back to Urahara Shoten looking quite dejected, ignoring the condolences of Tessai and Ururu.
Maybe they could try feeding stray cats tomorrow. Yoruichi would appreciate that. And kitties were less likely to fly away.
