Post by Asuka Was Here on Nov 6, 2005 19:00:57 GMT -5
In another fit of procrastination (I will not do my physics lab, I will not do my physics lab...*repeats*), I have written another short crack drabble featuring my beloved Urahara X Hat-san (UraHat) pairing. It is crack. It is so crack-like and OOC and terribly random that you may die from the sheer randomness. You have been warned.
Title: Of Trips and Washing Machines
Rating: PG
Characters: Urahara/Hat-san (UraHat), Yoruichi, Orihime
Description: Yoruichi and Orihime take Kisuke and Hat-san on a trip to the Laundromat.
Spoilers: Don’t think so. Unless you’ve no idea who Yoruichi is.
Beta: Redheaded Being. AKA Vulpes. AKA Celebrindae
“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Yoruichi shouted, clearly angered. “All you ever do these days is sit around and hug that hat! What happened to the mischief? The meddling? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
Kisuke pondered this question carefully. It was very uncharacteristic for Yoruichi to lose her cool, especially at him. He wondered what could be making her so mad. PMS, maybe? But whatever the reason, it would probably be a bad idea to give her some smartass response when she was in this kind of mood.
So he settled for the truth.
“But I love Hat-san!” he exclaimed cheerfully, in a singsong voice.
“Why? It’s old. It’s tattered. It’s worn out. And for God’s sake, it’s dirty! When are you going to take that thing and put it in a washing machine?”
“Hat-san and I are inseparable! I couldn’t live if Hat-san was ripped from my head for even a minute,” he informed her.
Fortunately for Urahara, one Inoue Orihime chose exactly that moment to walk into the door of Urahara Shoten and drag Yoruichi off (as well as Ururu), offering little more than one of her confused ramblings as an explanation.
The next day, Yoruichi seemed to be in a considerably better mood; in fact, she even offered to take Urahara and Hat-san somewhere special at the end of the day. And so it happened that when the clock on the wall struck five, Yoruichi, Kisuke, and Hat-san hopped into their shopping cart and rolled down the road towards the other end of town.
Some twenty minutes later, they climbed out of the cart in front of a shady-looking building with no front entrance.
“…Say, Yoruichi-san, where are we?”
“It’s a surprise. Follow me around back.” So Kisuke let Yoruichi lead the way into a dark alley to the side.
Where, unexpectedly, everything went black. No one was around to hear the loud thunk of a wooden bat colliding with the back of Urahara’s skull.
While Kisuke slowly regained consciousness, he became aware that he was not where he was when he was knocked out. This place was full of bright fluorescent lighting and the smell of soap. His eyes snapped open. Hat-san was not on his head!
“HAT-SAN!!!” he screamed, unknowingly attracting the glares of every living being in the laundromat – even the fly buzzing on the ceiling.
And that’s when he saw it. There was Hat-san, swirling around in a maelstrom of bubbles and whooshing, soapy water! Urahara ran over to the washing machine and pressed his face against the smooth, curved glass window. He had to get Hat-san out of there!
It was then that he noticed the presence of two other familiar faces – namely, Yoruichi and Orihime.
“YOU,” he glared at them, “YOU did this.”
“Yes, and it was necessary, you bum! You’d have never washed it otherwise.”
“We’re very sorry, Urahara-san!” piped in Orihime, “but Yoruichi-san convinced me it was for your own good. Hat-san did look very dirty when we threw him in there, after all. Now he’ll be all nice and clean!”
But Kisuke had already tuned them out. He frantically scanned the surface of the machine, seeking a way to get his precious Hat-san out. Hat-san would drown if he stayed in there too long! He couldn’t find an abort button, though, so he just started hitting every button or blinking light on the control panel, as Yoruichi and Orihime dove at him to keep him from causing the machine to self-destruct.
Fortunately for all, the machine chose exactly that time to finish its wash cycle. As the water slowly drained out of the infernal Hat-drowning contraption, Kisuke breathed a sigh of relief that Hat-san was still okay.
However, he would hear nothing of putting his precious Hat-san into the dryer. Hat-san was too dizzy. So instead, Urahara Kisuke ended up rolling home in his shopping cart with a dripping wet hat over his head.
He would just have to get the blow-dryer out when he got home.
//END
Yeah... that was wierd, I know. Oh, and the shopping cart? Not my idea. Credit for that one goes to Kia. Thank you, Kia, for being the source of so much crack inspiration. We all loves you here in the happy world of Asuka where fire engines are not allowed to be yellow.
As always, feedback and comments are very welcome. I love to hear back about my work, even if you say it sucks. So long as you tell me why it sucks.
Title: Of Trips and Washing Machines
Rating: PG
Characters: Urahara/Hat-san (UraHat), Yoruichi, Orihime
Description: Yoruichi and Orihime take Kisuke and Hat-san on a trip to the Laundromat.
Spoilers: Don’t think so. Unless you’ve no idea who Yoruichi is.
Beta: Redheaded Being. AKA Vulpes. AKA Celebrindae
“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Yoruichi shouted, clearly angered. “All you ever do these days is sit around and hug that hat! What happened to the mischief? The meddling? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
Kisuke pondered this question carefully. It was very uncharacteristic for Yoruichi to lose her cool, especially at him. He wondered what could be making her so mad. PMS, maybe? But whatever the reason, it would probably be a bad idea to give her some smartass response when she was in this kind of mood.
So he settled for the truth.
“But I love Hat-san!” he exclaimed cheerfully, in a singsong voice.
“Why? It’s old. It’s tattered. It’s worn out. And for God’s sake, it’s dirty! When are you going to take that thing and put it in a washing machine?”
“Hat-san and I are inseparable! I couldn’t live if Hat-san was ripped from my head for even a minute,” he informed her.
Fortunately for Urahara, one Inoue Orihime chose exactly that moment to walk into the door of Urahara Shoten and drag Yoruichi off (as well as Ururu), offering little more than one of her confused ramblings as an explanation.
The next day, Yoruichi seemed to be in a considerably better mood; in fact, she even offered to take Urahara and Hat-san somewhere special at the end of the day. And so it happened that when the clock on the wall struck five, Yoruichi, Kisuke, and Hat-san hopped into their shopping cart and rolled down the road towards the other end of town.
Some twenty minutes later, they climbed out of the cart in front of a shady-looking building with no front entrance.
“…Say, Yoruichi-san, where are we?”
“It’s a surprise. Follow me around back.” So Kisuke let Yoruichi lead the way into a dark alley to the side.
Where, unexpectedly, everything went black. No one was around to hear the loud thunk of a wooden bat colliding with the back of Urahara’s skull.
While Kisuke slowly regained consciousness, he became aware that he was not where he was when he was knocked out. This place was full of bright fluorescent lighting and the smell of soap. His eyes snapped open. Hat-san was not on his head!
“HAT-SAN!!!” he screamed, unknowingly attracting the glares of every living being in the laundromat – even the fly buzzing on the ceiling.
And that’s when he saw it. There was Hat-san, swirling around in a maelstrom of bubbles and whooshing, soapy water! Urahara ran over to the washing machine and pressed his face against the smooth, curved glass window. He had to get Hat-san out of there!
It was then that he noticed the presence of two other familiar faces – namely, Yoruichi and Orihime.
“YOU,” he glared at them, “YOU did this.”
“Yes, and it was necessary, you bum! You’d have never washed it otherwise.”
“We’re very sorry, Urahara-san!” piped in Orihime, “but Yoruichi-san convinced me it was for your own good. Hat-san did look very dirty when we threw him in there, after all. Now he’ll be all nice and clean!”
But Kisuke had already tuned them out. He frantically scanned the surface of the machine, seeking a way to get his precious Hat-san out. Hat-san would drown if he stayed in there too long! He couldn’t find an abort button, though, so he just started hitting every button or blinking light on the control panel, as Yoruichi and Orihime dove at him to keep him from causing the machine to self-destruct.
Fortunately for all, the machine chose exactly that time to finish its wash cycle. As the water slowly drained out of the infernal Hat-drowning contraption, Kisuke breathed a sigh of relief that Hat-san was still okay.
However, he would hear nothing of putting his precious Hat-san into the dryer. Hat-san was too dizzy. So instead, Urahara Kisuke ended up rolling home in his shopping cart with a dripping wet hat over his head.
He would just have to get the blow-dryer out when he got home.
//END
Yeah... that was wierd, I know. Oh, and the shopping cart? Not my idea. Credit for that one goes to Kia. Thank you, Kia, for being the source of so much crack inspiration. We all loves you here in the happy world of Asuka where fire engines are not allowed to be yellow.
As always, feedback and comments are very welcome. I love to hear back about my work, even if you say it sucks. So long as you tell me why it sucks.
